I took a hiatus from my Monday Musings. I needed to focus on myself and my mental well being. That was time well spent. Of course, I am not out of the woods yet. Grief is a hard road to travel. It can be triggered so unexpectedly.
My dad died on January 2, 2021, and when the 2nd of the month approaches, my mood shifts. When May rolled in on Sunday, I decided to take back the second day of the month by doing a task that connected me with my dad, and that was gardening. I finally finished the border between my fence and my four new raised beds. I chuckled while working because my border was not perfect like my dad. I imagine him going into a rant about leveling, proper tools, etc. I did purchase a t-square ruler. I know my dad has tons of tools that seem trapped in time waiting for the owner to come back. I could use his, but that means touching all the items that were a crucial part of what he loved to do. I’m not there yet.
Tomorrow, I am having my dad’s office desk moved into my office. I haven’t had a desk for almost two years. When my husband and I moved out of our first house where we lived for 12 years, we shared a desk area. Let’s just say that was not working for us. In our new house, everyone, including our boys, have their own space. My husband has a remote control desk that adjusts to a standing level, a vertical mouse, a split keyboard (I don’t think that is the name but that is what it looks like), a new chair, a foot rest, and noise canceling headphones. My dad helped contribute to this area. He got my husband a gift card for Christmas so he could purchase some of the items. I purchased the rest.
The only area I haven’t worked on is my own. My therapist said I am not prioritzing myself enough. Getting my dad’s desk will allow me to take another step in having my own work space. I really need one for the work I have coming ahead. I am going to make is my zen zone.
As I claw my way through this grief, I will continue my Monday Musings every other Monday. See you all in two weeks. Also, check out my latest podcast episode.