Today is the last page in chapter 38. It has been a wild and difficult ride. My dad only entered the chapter in flashbacks and items he left behind. Color in my life dimmed a bit without him here anymore. I’m not sure if the full color will return; instead, I’m adjusting to what I’m left with. I didn’t realize how huge a space my dad consumed of my life until he wasn’t here to fill it. Without him here, many details I wanted to share seemed to not matter because I didn’t tell him first. I had to decided whether to grieve and freeze or survive and thrive. I chose to thrive and my path to thriving has been well worth the exploration.
Here is what I have learned about myself as this chapter comes to a close.
1. I don’t have time to help solve other people’s problem especially when my needs are sacrificed.
2. Backing off from being a borderline helicopter parent allowed my boys to thrive. (Both sons had straight As in all classes all year in 5th grade and had 100% in some subjects without me hovering)
3. I really like wearing pants jumpsuits with pockets.
4. I need alone time to rejuvenate.
5. I still need my Dad, but he left me with the tools to be successful.
6. There is a blessing in every day even if all I can say is “God, thanks for waking me up for another day.”
7. Romantic love can sizzle or fizzle depending on where you put your energy.
8. I am more than enough even on days when everything goes wrong.
9. My afro is dope!
10. Just like my garden, I grow only if I’m taken care of properly.
Chapter 39 loading tomorrow!