Monday Musings: Don’t Call My Bluff

Rihanna once sang, “Y’all should know me well enough … Please don’t call me on my bluff.”

Those words have resonated with me lately. I thought that people close to me truly understood me. To understand me is to know that I not only write what is on my mind, but I also speak it too. I try to live up to what I say. If you can’t handle my thoughts and opinions and have to reduce my words down to being rude, then deuces. My purge game has been and will stay strong. I drop people like a hot pan with a metal handle that was picked up with a bare hand. You got one time to burn me, and then I’m done. I keep moving on. I don’t ever bluff about that and some folks found out the hard way this year.

My therapist said that when you hold on to people who don’t fit with your path, you are blocking yourself from people who fit with you. When she told me this, I nodded in agreement. I didn’t expect what she said to come to fruition so quickly. I have been coming into contact with people who I previously didn’t have time for because of other people that I have purged from my life. These people didn’t add value but took value from me.

Just because you purge people from your life doesn’t make them bad people; they just aren’t the right people for you. Wish them well, and move on. On the flip side, if someone purges you, accept it and move on.

When I married my husband, I told him that if this at some point does not work out and he wants to bounce I would let him. If he served me with divorce papers, I would sign them. I told him that my parents raised me to understand that a man is not a plan. It is beneath my dignity to beg anyone, even my man, to be in communion or in relationship with me. This mentality should apply to all relationships. If you have to compromise who you are or beg someone to be in your life, it is not worth it. You are blocking your blessing of new connections.

My husband asked me how I felt about the people who have been falling off in 2021. I said, “I feel nothing. I don’t feel happy. I don’t feel mad. I don’t feel sad. I feel nothing. It is what it is.” The only relationship tears I shed are for my father who died this year. I miss how he was forever down for his wife and three daughters. There is no one that has fallen off that held that kind of significance or given me that type of support. I’m good.

This Haiku I wrote was published in a college newsletter, and I haven’t changed this stance.

my bluntness may sting 

but I will not hold it back 

to keep you from tears

As Bad Girl RiRi says, “don’t call me on my bluff” because you will find out I’m not bluffing.

If you are in my direct messages or comments on social media, don’t act brand new when I clap back.

If you want to attack me because you hate my stance on education, scrolling on is always an option.

If you want to criticize my work to help educators outside of Indy and accuse me of abandoning the urban space, use that energy to actually go do something that will make an impact in education.

I don’t want my energy to be wasted on justifying my choices and my beliefs.

Let me leave y’all with a little Elton John.

“You know I’m still standing better than I ever did

Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid

I’m still standing after all this time

Picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind”

You might say, “Well aren’t they on your mind because you are writing about it?” Fair point, but I write in hopes of helping others. I plan to leave my final thoughts about them on this page … then I’ll have a tangible reference point for those who want to call my bluff in the future 🙂