I haven’t written a Monday Musings since June 1 because I’m drowning in work. With the coronavirus pandemic continuing while educators and school leaders are trying to figure out how to safety resume school, I have been wading in troubled waters trying to keep afloat.
I know I’m not alone. The pandemic has not ended, but we are trying to return to normal. This is a problem. Some days, well every day, I just want things to slow down. My task list is never-ending. Once I complete a task, I have to go back and modify it to meet new COVID-19 guidance.
There are no models to follow. In education, one way we teach children is by modeling concepts. There isn’t a handbook or video about attending school during a pandemic. On one hand, I want to return to in-person instruction because I miss my students, and on the other hand, I want to stay home because I’m scared teachers and students will get COVID-19 and potentially die.
I’ve been to funerals of formers students. It is one of the saddest experiences. I don’t want to go to anymore. I don’t want to worry about having a will. I do have all my affairs in order in that regard. Years ago my husband and I set up a trust and set up documentation to dictate what happens to our kids if we die. We visit this plan annually. Before, it was a thing to check off of the list, but now, it is something that really could happen. I try not to think about it. I’ll be 37 next month, and I know people around my age who did not recover from COVID-19. Mortality is front and center in your mind during a pandemic.
I feel bad when I can’t answer questions. I know I shouldn’t, but I want to bring comfort to the teachers I supervise. Some days, I can’t.
What I know for sure is that each day will bring new challenges. I know I can’t predict them, and I know I might not be able to solve all of the problems. I will focus on what I can control and try to not dwell too much on the multitude of changes.