For 2021, I set a goal of reading 50 books. I didn’t reach my goal. I only read 22, but I am still proud of that. My dad died last year on the second day of 2021, so much of my time was filled with grief. That grief wasn’t just for my dad. When he died, I felt like an orphan. I could not figure out where these feelings were coming from. Several incidents took place that bothered me to my core last year. A good friend, whom I confided in, recommended Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson, PsyD. This was one of the best books I ever read.
I highlighted many pages of this book, and you can see that in the video clip below.
Not only is this book great for dealing with parents as an adult, but it is also great for dealing with any immature person who has access to you whether that is a family member, a colleague, or a friend … and after you read the book, you might realize that person is not your friend.
Gibson provides an inventory for the reader to assess whether someone is emotionally immature, and she goes in-depth into the impact the emotionally immature person can have on a person during childhood and as an adult. There were so many quotes I highlighted and bookmarked, however, I really appreciated this one.
“Because they lack self-reflection, emotionally immature people don’t consider their role in a problem. They don’t assess their behavior or question their motives. If they caused a problem, they dismiss it by saying they didn’t intend to hurt you.”
The author doesn’t stop with determining if someone is emotionally immature, she also provides stories of clients she worked with during therapy sessions in order to provide examples of how to create boundaries and as the author says not “get hooked” by the emotionally immature person.
The book wraps up with another inventory of what emotional maturity looks like so the reader can avoid getting swept up into the drama that comes with a relationship with an emotionally immature person.
The best part about this book is that I read it with my sister. We both purchased the book and the audiobook. I also highly recommend listening to the audiobook while reading along with the text. The unabridged audiobook was read by Marguerite Gavin, and she did a wonderful job of bringing the book the story of the people Gibson supported through therapy to life. After each chapter, my sister and I discussed what we read, how we felt about what we read, and the actions we wanted to take.
Whether you read the book solo or with someone, I believe this book is worth your time.